Tuesday, December 7, 2010


I need some advice or some input on how to handle a certain situation that I'm going through.  Some of you may remember an annoucement I made about a month and a half ago about a local radio station playing my song during their afternoon 3 to 5 show.  Well here's the deal with that:

One of the DJ's at the station came across my demo and contacted me through email telling me how much he liked my songs, and asked if he could play one of them on his show.  Needless to say, I wasted no time responding and gave him my consent.  Later that same day we talked on the phone and he told me about his music industry connections, and told me he could introduce me to some of them and maybe get me a deal.  Then he told me about mixtapes that he hosted and put together for other hip hop artist, and asked if I'd be interested in letting him host one for me.  I was like "HELL YEAH" that's cool (lol).  Before we ended our brief conversation, he said he'd email me with more information about the mix tape project and he said that my song would be on the radio the next day after the program manager ok's it.  I was on cloud nine because I've been recording hip hop for so long just for the love and respect I have for the music, but I could never seem to get my music heard by labels or in the hands of the right A&R people.  Whenever I'd play my music for my friends and family, they would always tell me how good it was and everyone seemed to agree that I had a talent for this.  Of course I valued what they had to say but I'm also aware that their opinions could be a little biased.  So when the radio DJ told me how good my music was, it really meant a lot coming from him.  Later that same night I was too excited to even sleep and couldn't wait to hear myself on the radio for the first time. 
I wanted to make sure I didn't miss it, so I got up and sent him an email message and told him to text me 10 or 15 minutes prior to playing my song.  The next day comes and I wait and wait and wait and nothing happens.  I didn't hear my song and he didn't even mention anything about it on his show.  So I call him and get no answer and left him a short message to call me back.  The next day goes by and still nothing.  I didn't want to seem pushy, so instead of calling again, I sent him a text.  No response again.  By this time I'm wondering what happened.  He was so excited about working with me when we talked on the phone just a couple days earlier, and now I couldn't even get him to return a text.  Another 2 days pass and I'm wrecking my brain to figure out what the deal was.  I open the emails we sent and reread everything to see if I missed something.  When I got to the last message I sent him, I finally figured out what might have happened.  At the end of all my email messages I have it set up so it automatically attaches my signature and my website address to my personal site (www.demonspencer.com).  When he got that late night email from me and read it, he probably clicked on my web address to check out my site.  On that site I have a short bio about myself... and in that bio I identify myself as being gay.  He probably read that, and changed his mind about working with me.  This whole situation is fucked up, and now I'm questioning if being "out" has killed any chance of breaking into the music biz.  A friend of mine said if I had never came out, I'd have major labels throwing money my way just to sign me... now I'm thinking that maybe he was right.  

What should I do?  Should I confront the radio DJ?  Should I lie and hide who I am just to get my music heard?  Or should I give up the idea of getting signed as a hip hop artist and just write and produce for other people?


  1. I don't know you very well but I have heard your music. I think you're a very talented young man in general. Your music is great but your writing is even better. I think you should consider a career in journalism or maybe write a novel because I know you'd be really good at that as well. So if you do decide to redirect your talent away from music, give me a call. My sister-in-law works for a publishing house in NY and I'd be happy to make an introduction. Whatever you decide to do, just make sure you can live with that decision. My final advice to you Demon is just follow your heart. That way you can't lose.

  2. Stanley Bennett ClaySunday, December 26, 2010

    I think you are, not only a fine writer, but a passionate one. And I believe it is your passion that creates the quality; the truth, your truth. Never veer from your truth, which is why I was perplexed that you even had to question that hiding the authentic you--your sexual nature--might have advanced your musical career. If indeed that record promoter/producer passed on you because of his homophobia, then allow him to drown in his own bias and bigotry. Remember, he could have just as easily been a white producer/promoter who passed on you because he was a racist. Would you then have questioned whether you should have disguised your race to appease his small-mindedness, his backwards thinking, his shameful bigotry? It is not even a discussion. You simply glide upon the seas of your authentic self, and let the winds of truth your truth and your artistry fill the sails of your being. Self-love is the Teflon that neutralizes the hater.

    Stanley Bennett Clay



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